Today’s Reading: Matthew 5:31-32 (HCSB)
It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Today’s Question: If you are married, what grade would you give your relationship? What are you doing to improve this grade?
Today’s Commentary:
The government recognizes the paperwork for divorce but God does not. Marriage is more than a contractual agreement recognized by the State, it is a promise to God and is a sacred bond. Therefore, to break this covenant takes more than a legal proceeding. It is separating something that God has united.
As one who has provided pastoral counseling for a number of couples whose marriages are in trouble, I understand the complexities and rationale for separation. But our society has come to see marriage as disposable. Sadly, those who attend church score even worse in the divorce category, as the Barna Research Group found that the divorce rate of those claiming to be born again Christians was higher than those who were not. The reason is simple. Satan knows that the family is the foundation for society and for the work of God in the Church. Destroy the family and the testimony of Christ is weakened and society crumbles (all part of the “kill, steal, and destroy” motive of the enemy—see John 10:10).
Remember that in this passage of Jesus’ Great Sermon, He is addressing the heart of a disciple. He is following a logical progression: Do not be angry for this leads to serious consequences. Do not lust, for this leads to broken relationships. Often unresolved anger and lust are in the mix when marriages fall apart.
Among the Jews in Jesus’ day, there was great debate over divorce. Some followed a popular rabbi that taught that a man could dismiss his wife for any reason. Others adhered to the teaching of a rabbi who proclaimed that divorce was necessary in the cases of adultery. Jesus, knowing the debates that were common in Galilee over this issue, tackled it with blunt force. Divorce is a problem of the heart.
If the divorce rate in America is about 50%, then half of you reading this post are struggling with this passage. Of those who are married, about half of you are likely struggling with your spouse. If you are divorced and there is no hope for reconciliation, then remember the promise of God’s Word in Romans 8:1, “No condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus.” (HCSB) For those who are married but struggling, remember that God performs miracles and can restore even the most disastrous situation. Start praying together daily and seek biblical counseling immediately.
When I have an opportunity to meet with a couple who is considering separation or divorce, I ask a simple question to each person, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your desire to see your relationship with your spouse restored?” Once, I had both tell me their answer was a “1,” which I had previously defined with them as totally hopeless. With that couple, I prayed with them and thanked them for coming to me, but their heart was not pointed in the direction of reconciliation. Most of the time, the answers are between “7” and “9.” To me, this means that their hearts are still in the marriage. With effort from the couple and disciple-making leadership from the counselor, there is hope through the work of Christ.
“Follow One, Lead Others” Principle #20: If married, a disciple of Jesus should seek to maintain a relationship that honors Christ and provides a positive example to others of grace and peace.
Today’s Prayer Point: Pray for the families in your church fellowship. If married, pray that your own relationship would lead others to desire what you have in Christ.
For Discussion Today: As I understand and interpret the Bible, I do not see an option for a Christian man to dismiss his wife (according to the teachings of the New Testament.) Wives have two potential reasons for leaving: 1) continued adultery committed by her husband with no repentance and 2) abandonment. What do you believe? Leave a comment below and let’s discuss this difficult topic.
Shepherding Well 